its true, im alive breathing and wellish sort of i seem to be extremely lathagic lately, and yes i know i should see a doctor and i will be in the morning so no need to go all bonkers thinking i need a lecture trust me i seem to get alot of lectures lately.

It has been ages since i submitted one of my short peice of work and i know i've let all of You who follow me and crave to see more work down in so many ways, i was at one point working in two restraunts but one got sold and because i couldent stand the new ownership i quit and went to being a casual for my parents.

Im finding it hard to pick up a pen and write lately its as though the passion is there and my heart and mind races with wonderful ideas but the pen and paper never seem to meet, i was writing a novel of sorts a few months back the book and pen went everywhere with me i wrote like crazy in it, until my father said it would never get published that i didnt have the intellegence to pull such a thing off, and that it would proberbly cost me 30 thousand dollars or more as i would need to pay the publisher to publish anything i wrote, not the other way around, it encouraged me enough to stop working on the novel all together.

So working for them, running a house by cooking, cleaning and ironing i have reduced myself to listening to music and walking around in a daze of sorts. I did however take a fantastic holiday for four days or so walking around the great city of melbourne, i learned that my creativity in that enviroment was inspireing the trams, the culture, the people, it was simply amazing. The coffee was fantastic! oh how good it was to drink beautiful coffee although upon returning back to my gloomy life i miss the coffee most and yes like a hermit i went for that vacation alone i always seem to do things alone, go to the movies alone, buy music alone, eat alone, work alone, clean alone even though yes it has been six years and im still married.